Improving your life without building “good” habits

Intellectual Banter: Episode #19

Welcome to the 4 new members of our tribe who have joined us since last week. If you’re new or missed the last edition, catch up here. And thank you for giving me your time, I appreciate it.

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Greetings, my friends!

I’m still warming up after my brief hiatus from the online world.

I feel rusty. So I’m building momentum by moving my body first, then my brain. So I resumed going to the gym this week. Feels good (also, ouch).

In the meantime, here’s something I’ve used to great personal benefit over the past two years.

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On my mind

Screw building "good" habits.

They're all the rage. And yes, they improve the quality of your life. But they also take time and effort. And you stumble so much along the way, it's like learning to walk again. I’m sure you know the feeling. 

You need to improve the quality of your life first, then build whatever you want.

The answer: Elimination.

Ruthless cutting out of things that drag you down and make you feel like shit.

So what do you cut?

Our primitive monkey brain has evolved over thousands of years to focus on the "lack" in our lives. It was survival 101 back then. It's no longer relevant in that context (there are no tigers lurking in bushes). But it’s extremely relevant in another.

You already know what makes you miserable.

You're doing a ton of stuff that is sub-optimal and likely even self-sabotaging. And you know what it is. I don't need to tell you (damn you 8 slices of double pepperoni).

We can make it as complicated as we want, but it’s actually simple:

1. Acceptance is always the first step. Being brutally honest and putting an end to self-delusion. There’s no need to “soften” the blow. If it hurts a bit, good.

2. Listing down everything that you know you “shouldn’t” be doing. Yes, it doesn’t matter if it’s your favorite video game ever.

3. Build a simple strategy to pick things off your list. Tapering or cold-turkey? Easiest or hardest to start with? It’s up to you (I’ve had mixed success with both).

Here's what I've culled since late 2020:

1. My snacks & booze: crisps have a way of not surviving long in my house. So I removed them altogether. And stopped stocking booze for a while. (I’m able to have both in moderation now).

2. My PS4: my "most prized" possession. A core part of my "gamer" identity for over 10 years. I had zero control over it and used to play Red Dead Redemption 2 for 10+ hours straight. So I sold it. And surprisingly don’t miss it (cold turkey for the win).

3. My job: a finance career, 9 years in the making. That made me more money than I'd ever seen. And more miserable than I'd ever been. So I quit in January '22. (Obviously, this isn’t something I recommend, lol. I prepared for it, so please do your own critical thinking first.)

I was also ready to sell my TV, but my wife vetoed my ultra-minimalistic ass at that point. For another day, then.

With the energy and time it freed up (not to mention clearing years of brain fog), I’ve begun:

1. A regular activity routine of walking and hitting the gym 4 times a week (and going from “uuggh” to loving it)

2. Writing (obviously). Much to figure out here, but consistency is the first step.

3. Pretty much anything else - spending time with family, reading, learning, thinking, etc.

Now I can hear the objections and metaphorical pitchforks:

"But that's too hard! WTF am I supposed to do with that? I can’t just quit! And I don't wanna throw away my box of Cheetos"

I didn’t say it was easy. But it is lightning fast.

And it becomes easier if you attach a “meaning” to it. Your own story for what eliminating something will do for you. Or what NOT eliminating it is already doing to you (much more effective).

For me, it was breaking out of the matrix of merely “existing” and improving my relation with my reflection. Minimizing regret and preparing to meet my 80YO self eye to eye.

What about you?

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Un-chuckle worthy quote

It may seem difficult at first, but everything is difficult at first - Miyamoto Musashi

In case you decide to try this out, lemme tell you - it will SUCK at first. And that’s a good thing. Savor it.

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Until next week

I’d love to hear if you have any stories of elimination that improved your life. What did you remove and how?

Your “PS4 selling” friend,

Adi

PS: I love banter, so ‌hit that reply button, comment on the website or book a call if you want to chat! I’d love to hear from you.