Never surrender

Intellectual Banter: Episode #23

From being the most consistent I’ve ever been in my 33 years alive to having full-blown “zero” weeks.

I’ve been missing in action for the past 3 weeks.

You see… I’ve been busy with fatherhood.

But that’s not true.

I’ve had pockets of time throughout the day (courtesy of my wife). Which I spent drowning in overthinking and overwhelm.

My old self - the perpetual victim - paid a visit:

“I don’t have enough time.”

“I don't feel like writing today.”

“I feel tired - lemme skip today’s workout.”

He’s such a whiny bastard.

I’m not fond of him. But he’s a persistent bugger.

Whispering the melody of mediocrity in my ear. And what a seductive tune it is. 

Fucking annoying.

That’s great, Adi. But what TF does this have to do with me?!

I’m sure you have your own whiny bastard.

Your well justified life circumstances (ahem, excuses). Your dreams and visions. The ones you stopped chasing and ended up justifying away. To feel better.

Look, we’ve all done it.

The question is: will you surrender for good?

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”  - Jim Rohn

Here’s what I’ve been doing to find my way:

Dragged my ass out of the comfortable couch of lethargy and moved my body.

Push-ups, squats and ab work at home. Takes 15 minutes. It sucked balls at first, but then got better. I do it anytime I get - 6:04AM, 11:37AM, 2:13PM.

One week in, I feel some energy returning.

Building on top of this I:

1. Wrestled back control of my diet - no more gorging on endless double pepperonis. We need to take a break, you goddamn pork.

2. Forced myself to sit down and write - 10:45PM, when folks are ready to go to bed. That’s when I open my laptop and start typing. Anytime works. It’s not my best work, but I don't care.

3. Read whenever I get time - the Kindle app on the phone is a hack. “Not having time” is always an excuse. I’ve finished 4 books while my daughter slept in my arms.

I’m now aiming for “non-zero” days.

Doing something every day that moves me closer to the person I want to become. Even if it’s one stupid step at a time. These maybe small wins but I’ll snatch whatever I can.

More than anything, I’m training my mind.

Rest is great, but only when earned. I want to train my mind to show up regardless of my circumstances. It’s what Steven Pressfield calls turning “pro”.

Now before I see any angry pitchforks, let me clarify one thing:

This isn’t about me not being present with my baby daughter.

She’s the cutest thing to ever exist (ZERO parental bias involved). 

I love spending time with her.

Chatting with her like an adult. Teaching her random big words daily (conundrum, anyone?). Reading Roald Dahl to her whenever I can. Speaking to her in a guttural Batman voice (don’t ask). And bathing her little beanie baby butt (her mum’s the masseuse).

She seems to like her old man’s odd antics, as is clear from her priceless (and toothless) smile.

It isn’t about that.

It’s about me doing my damn work.

Continuing to show up for myself every day. Focusing on my health, so I can be there for my family. Building my online business after taking a decision to go all in. Training my mind to become harder than life is.

It isn’t easy.

It won’t even be pretty - mental training and deliberate grinding is a mess. Growth is always accompanied by you splattering the remains of your past self all over the place. Then getting to work cleaning up the gunk.

You need to get your hands dirty. And I’ve been avoiding that.

No longer.

Your “messy” friend,

Adi

PS: this email is messy. I hate it. But it’s not sitting in my drafts this week. I’ve written 5 drafts for this episode over the past 3 weeks, but sent out zero. So here you go, with my best regards (no sarcasm intended).

PPS: this email was inspired by Get Paid Writing’s recent email on how he’s showing up daily after the birth of his son. Simple emails like these can spur you into action. I hope you decide to show up today because of this one.