Say hello to your fears 👋🏻
Intellectual Banter: Episode #7
If you’re new or missed the last edition, catch up here. Also, hello! Thank you for giving me your time, I appreciate it.
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Yolo folks!
The big 100 is up 🤯
That’s phenomenal! I recall starting this two months ago and thinking - “who’s even going to read this?!”
Yet, here we are. And we’re just getting started. To those who read, engage and share - know that I appreciate it. A lot! You’re the best 🥂
Now let’s get a-chattin’…
Stuff in my head
Shortness of breath. Your heart’s beating like an increasingly loud drum in your chest. Tense muscles, clenched jaw. Hyper focused senses.
It’s your best friend: fear.
He used to be a practical “guy” back in the day (over 10,000 years ago). Warn you when a saber-tooth tiger was going to jump out and bite a chunk out of you while you’re busy picking berries.
Now he’s just an anachronistic pain in the ass. An outdated signal that failed to keep up with the change in our habitat.
Like your annoying neighborhood uncle who hasn’t kept up and prefixes everything with “back in my day…”. Yes, we know - but it’s not 1957 anymore.
Over the evolution of our species from monkeys to well, talking monkeys, we've changed the world. There’s no longer any danger of being eaten for lunch (unless you want to be). 98.9% of all fear we experience today is psychological.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t feel fear, but maybe the reaction should be different? I’m sure there’s a tiny difference between “tiger lunch buffet” and giving a presentation.
Yet the mind’s “natural” response remains unchanged.
Its evolutionary growth failed to keep up with the rate of human development. While nature works its magic over generations, humans developed all this jazz in the past few hundred years. And tripped the living shit out of themselves as a result. Way to self-sabotage, brain.
But there are ways to recalibrate your “natural” reaction to fear. To make it useful again. And it starts with saying hello to your dear friend…
Something Tim wrote
“Fear Setting” is to name and bring your fears to life.
Then sit with them and see there’s no tiger waiting for you. It’s what I did when I quit my job earlier this year.
Worst case: go back (no, thank you).
Better case: survive in the first year, then thrive.
And I keep doing it whenever I face another one. I seem to have an endless supply, which is just marvelous. I’m doing it at the moment as I venture into freelance work (what if I SUCK?!).
Anyways, read more about it here. Tim Ferris has written multiple bestsellers (including “The 4-Hour Work Week”), has a blog, newsletter, podcast and god knows what else. He seems to know what he's doing.
Un-chuckle worthy tweet
The point is to treat fear as a signal to take action, rather than as a stop sign.
It’s the best signal there is in an otherwise noisy world. Spectacular at cutting through hordes of self-made, well crafted bullshit.
Also, please stop deluding yourself with said bullshit for why your fears are the single, most unique ones in the world. Trust me, I’ve been afraid most of my life - they’re not. And that road only leads to becoming a sad sack of regrets. So maybe stop walking on it.
Time to act before next week’s episode
7 episodes out, I’m still afraid of publishing this newsletter. Every single time.
I’m afraid of it sucking. Afraid of freelance client work. Afraid of putting myself out there, for the world to “judge”.
But the first step to getting good at something is sucking at it. Looking silly. Even risking being misunderstood (in the short term). Embarrassment is the gatekeeper that filters out the “real” ones from the ones who only talk.
Deliberate iterations is the logic I’m using to calm my ass down. Incremental improvement with each turn. I’ll share how it goes as we progress.
So, have you tried something similar?
Now, it’s time to head back in. Here boy… where are you, you goddamn tiger?
Till next time,
Adi
PS: As this newsletter matures, so do I. I think. A bit? I’m constantly experimenting with the format. Focusing on more nuanced quips and increased value for you. All such experiments are mini fear trials (“what will people think!?”) - but as we’ve seen, that doesn’t matter.
As always, suggestions are always welcome. I love banter (duh), so hit that reply button, comment on the website or book a call if you want to chat! I’d love to hear from you.
Awesome issue Adi. Congrats on 100! Very deserved.
More than the fear of the unknown it is the sense of not having the situation in control which causes all anxiety.