Stub your toe, build some resilience

Intellectual Banter: Episode #6

If you’re new or missed the last edition, catch up here. Also, hello! Thank you for giving me your time, I appreciate it.

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Yolo folks!

One away from the big 100.

Will someone please just share this and get us over the century mark already? I don’t know about you, but my mind likes round figures.

So put it out of its misery already.

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What’s been on my mind

Wrestling with your thoughts is hard.

It’s you vs. you - and both sides have very compelling arguments. Smartass.

That’s what I’ve been doing recently and seems to be a recurring theme over the past few episodes. So while I figure that shit out, let’s talk about something that we all know well - pain.

It’s a bright sunny day. There's a nice cool breeze. You’re gliding elegantly through your day and have completed your 100 item to-do list by noon. Life’s great and you’re the champion of the world.

Then you stub your goddamn toe. Yeeouuuuuch!!!

From there things quickly spiral out of control - you’re distracted now and your to-do list suddenly triples in size (it’s black magic, I tell you). You know the day’s slipping away and now you’re in a mad rush to catch up. All the while nursing your poor toe. Then suddenly it's 8:37PM and you’re wondering - “why does all this shit keep happening to me? WHY?!”

But you see, that’s the wrong question to ask.

Shit doesn’t happen TO YOU. It just happens. That’s how it is, always has been and will be. You forget about it in all your elegant, gliding glory. And THAT is the problem.

"Pain’s power relies on surprise. If you expect it, it’s weaker. If you chose it, it’s gone" - Derek Sivers, How to Live

Which brings us to this next bit…

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Something I wrote

…everyone optimizes for pain avoidance. 

They don’t want to experience any pain - from stubbing their toe to pursuing any meaningful change in their life. But the irony of pain avoidance is lost on them. 

As a result, they end up experiencing prolonged pain instead.

Because the simple fact of life is: pain is inevitable.

So much effort is wasted on avoiding something unavoidable. I mean, come on people, the math doesn’t add up!

So, what can you do? 

Develop your “shock absorbers” instead - to enable you to cruise comfortably on the bumpy road of life. Relatively speaking of course, cause that shit’s still hard. 

But it doesn’t have to be any harder.

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Un-chuckle worthy quote

“Pain is coming anyway. Don’t get a shield. Get a saddle.” - Derek Sivers, How to Live

First up, this book is nuts. That’s why there are 2 quotes from it today, instead of 1 (+100% increase).

The man spent four years writing and then editing it down to ~20% of its original size (!!!). It’s 115 pages of awe inspiring writing. The density of the words that made the cut is staggering. Meanwhile, I struggle with filtering out adverbs from my writing.

Anyways, I’m savoring it - slow reading and reflection.

And I’ve recently experimented with this approach towards annoyances in my life - it’s significantly reduced my whining. I recommend it for that reason alone.

Everyone needs to complain less and move their asses more.

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See you soon…

That’s it for this week.

Now I’ll get back to the wrestling match inside my head.

Till we meet again, remember to actively deal with some “pain” in your life - you’ll be surprised how your mind reacts. The monkey is waiting to be tamed.

Have a “painful” week ;)

Till next time,

Adi

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PS: No wise-cracks this time (the well runs dry now and then). Hope you had a kickass week and are set up for another one!

Suggestions are always welcome. I love banter (obviously), so hit that reply button, comment directly on the post or book a call if you want to chat! I’d love to hear from you.