Existential Doomscrolling
Intellectual Banter: Episode #5
If you’re new or missed the last edition, catch up here. Also, yolo! Thank you for giving me your time. I appreciate it.
In case you’re a first-time reader, consider subscribing - I share thoughts on how I’m designing v2.0 of my life by writing online, lessons learnt from being a first time creator and the occasional “therapeutic” rant.
Yolo folks!
So I had my first unsubscribe…
Uhh, what!? Who was it? Why did they do it? Does my writing suck? What does “email disabled” even mean - aaah, alright. Nothing to worry about, it’s all good (checks subscribers fifty times in fifty minutes).
Then four kind souls joined the tribe - vindication!
Up to 99 now (!!!), so we’re back on track and I’m the king of the world (not really). Anyways…
What’s up?
I’m back in my usual writing environment.
I got my table setup just the way I want - my journal, my pens, my laptop, a cup of coffee and a random dirty sea shell (story for another time). It’s 6AM and I’m staring at my screen.
And I feel resistance.
That’s new. I haven’t felt this way a lot during the past four months I’ve been writing.
So instead of writing much the past few days, I’ve been doomscrolling the internet. Twitter, the fifty community apps I have on my phone or my email. It’s not the best - everything feels out of control!
All the while wondering - why am I feeling this way?
Maybe it’s because I’ve been out of my routine for a long time (nearly a month). Or it’s my subconscious banging on the door.
Now, I’ve had that experience before.
Happened in February, right after I finished my first writing course (Ship 30 for 30). I published around 32 essays and started feeling “pointless”. Like I was writing without any direction or purpose, so why bother at all? Now it’s after my second writing course and a long break.
So it’s time to stop the doomscroll and take out the humble pen and paper (remember them?) to do some old fashioned self-reflection.
I’ll likely throw in some extra walks in the sun as well. They help phenomenally with “unlocking” the mind. Even though it feels like walking in a sea of fire with 45 degrees outside (celsius, by the way).
Told you, dealing with myself is the single biggest factor in this journey.
My mind is tame most of the time, except when it’s not - it’s an annoying, screeching monkey then. Shhhh!
Something I wrote
It’s about doomscrolling, but through your entire life instead of Instagram.
Now that should concern you - it’s the same feeling as watching fifty reels back to back, but worse. You can still close, block or uninstall IG when your hair feels like it’s on fire.
But what will you do about your life?
Click this pretty looking button to find out:
Chuckle worthy quote
I love this quote. It’s there on the first page of my journal for a reason.
It’s a daily reminder to not get caught up in my own monkey business - something I’m quite skilled at.
We both know I’ll be here next week…
Because I’m stubborn.
No, really - I am. I’ve had this experience of “feeling stuck” a couple of times till now on this journey. It made me second guess everything I wrote (like this edition, huh).
But I still published it. That’s the one thing I’m NOT stuck about.
I also recently finished “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield which is literally a book on dealing with “Resistance” (with a capital R). Shame on me if I let it win after that!
When I finally stopped my life’s doomscroll in 2021, I decided to be intentional. That meant facing myself and my well crafted, gift wrapped BS more than anything. It’s time to calm the monkey.
There, there boy... Here’s a banana 🍌
Till next time,
Adi
PS: I’d love to hear about your doomscrolling experiences. Which rabbit holes do you go down? How do you come out of them? Any “existential” experiences?
As always, suggestions are welcome! I love banter (obviously), so hit that reply button, comment on the post directly or book a call if you want to chat! I’d love to hear from you.
With so much content available now to scroll that doomscrolling is unavoidable !
You got me thinking and for me it’s all about the time you have and how free or busy or bored you are!
Technology has come to my rescue to not be doomed! Putting those so called timers on apps to be really not available or not open unless you put tons of effort is what does the trick sometimes!