T-2 months to fatherhood...
Intellectual Banter: Episode #10
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What’s up folks 👋🏻
Welcome to the 9 new members of our tribe!
I appreciate you coming on this journey with me. I aim to deliver value for your time. Or at the least, a random chuckle.
Today is slightly off topic (though I don’t even know what “on topic” is yet) - parenthood. Let’s dive right in.
On my mind
M’lady is 7 months pregnant.
Which means in 2 months, we’re gonna have our own tiny little human. It’s fucking surreal! (sorry kid, I’ll clean up my act before you arrive.)
We don’t know the gender yet, so it’s going to be a surprise. Not for lack of trying, but for our country’s deranged and bloody foeticide history. Thank you, you jackasses. Anyways, for this email, I will refer to my kid as “it” (again, sorry kid).
We’re both excited! But also scared - what kind of parents will we be?
The kid’s going to look up to us for everything. Make us the benchmark for most of its early life (they get complicated later on). Which is great, because we want to teach it LOTs of crap (err, lessons). But also, I feel the tug of responsibility more than ever.
I’ve had my share of hard times, mistakes and a bag full of regrets. I started cleaning it up over 1.5 years ago and my life is better for it today (could do with fewer pepperonis though). But life is a constant stream of solving problems. You should always be solving “better” ones with time though.
And while I don’t know shit about being a father, I can still incubate thoughts about it in my head.
What it means to be one and how to do justice to it. How to be present in today’s age of incessant distractions. And how to be more aware of my actions, especially the subconscious ones.
Because talk is cheap and the kid doesn’t particularly care for it - you have to live out your values. And there’s no manual for parenting. Plus a wide gap between theory and practice (**alright, deeeep breath**)
Doesn’t stop me from spending time thinking of some principles I’d like to pass on though…
Something I wrote
I’ve gathered up enough scars in my 33 years afloat on our blue space rock.
Now I want to share those lessons with my kid to speed up its learning curve as much as I can. Because life is fucking hard at times. And while I can’t shield my kid from it, I can teach it to live better. And by living out these principles, I lead a better life myself.
Because all that I do for the kid, is also for myself. We’re all humans, tiny though some of us may be.
These are principles I remember and wrestle with daily. Stumbling often, but getting back up and having another go.
Because they are worth wrestling for.
Un-chuckle worthy quote
"Having kids is like taking a massive fisheye lens to your life. Everything gets exaggerated, for better or worse” - Tiago Forte
This makes (intuitive) sense to me. Kids do add entropy to your world. They can either help you focus on your true priorities, or make you feel like you went off a cliff.
People complain about their “lives ending” after having kids. But I think they never had any “life” to begin with (no judgement, merely an observation).
It’ll be interesting to see how my world changes after the little bean’s arrival.
Before you go, do you have a minute?
If you have kid(s) and are willing to share, I’d appreciate your one word of advice for new parents-to-be.
I admit I don’t know much, so seeking counsel is always preferable. Have a good weekend 🥂
Till next time,
Adi
PS: This was a slightly self-centered edition (big fan of rhetorical introspection), but I hope my life reflections are valuable to you. I assume that, since we all share this “human condition”.
If not, suggestions are always welcome. I love banter and think about the format for this email regularly, so hit that reply button, comment on the website or book a call if you want to chat! I’d love to hear from you.
This is going to be one lucky baby. My advice to all you young parents is, enjoy your children, surround them with all your love, they grow up too fast.
Always such a pleasure reading your thoughts Adi. Congratulations on becoming a father. I don’t have any advice for you because I am not a parent yet, but all I have to say is that it’s refreshing to read an Indian man talking about fatherhood!